


The Body

by moodwriter



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Age Play, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Fisting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Partners, Porn, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 19:08:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodwriter/pseuds/moodwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is a high-end prostitute fulfilling his clients' every need. He loves his job, and his prices are stellar:</p><p>Minimum 3 hours: 4000<br/>Dinner and drinks: 5000<br/>Sleepover: 10 000<br/>Day: 15 000<br/>Weekend: 20 000<br/>Week: 40 000</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Body

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Banner by me
> 
> This was written for [Glam Reverse Big Bang](http://glam-reverse-bb.livejournal.com/) and was inspired by [Heartsdesire456](http://heartsdesire456.livejournal.com/)'s mix "Heart" which you can find at the end notes. I listened to the soundtrack the whole time I was writing this. The story was betaed by my dear friend [Aislinntlc](http://aislinntlc.livejournal.com/).

Tommy is guided in through the back doors of the hotel by two grim men wearing black suits and headsets. He’d attract the wrong kind of attention if he walked through the front door.

Shady streets, even shadier entries. His heart is beating fast.

When they reach the right floor the men in suits leave him, and Tommy stands outside the room 504, fidgeting nervously. He knocks on the door, trying to ignore the way his not-shirt clings to his body and makes his nipples hard.

“You’re here,” the man opening the door says, pulling Tommy in, using so much force Tommy almost loses his balance. The man laughs, pleasant and warm. “How long have you been doing this?” he asks, his dress shirt pulled out of his pants and his tie loose around his neck. He’s not letting go of Tommy’s elbow.

“A while,” Tommy says, looking around, his eyes wide. It’s a suite, and the man clearly has plenty of money. He should’ve asked at least two hundred.

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” he says uncertainly. They went over this part when the guy bought him at the street corner. They agreed he’s legal even if there’s nothing legal about what they are about to do.

“Be honest, boy, and call me Sir while you’re at it.”

“Going on sixteen... Sir.” He tries to pull free, but the man’s grip is iron tight.

“Good. I like honesty. Now take off those ridiculous clothes and spread yourself on the bed. I’ll be back.” The man disappears into the bathroom, and Tommy sighs.

He takes off his shoes and socks, then gets rid off the stupid not-shirt that’s mostly made of see-through material. He wonders if he should’ve prepared himself for this client, if he should’ve made himself wet, inviting, ready.

He sits on the bed, opens the buttons of his leather pants one by one, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that he’s still nervous after all this time. He can barely breathe through his nose.

There’s a crashing sound coming from the bathroom like something dropped on the floor and then loud cursing. Tommy hopes there won’t be any anger directed at him.

He’s on his hands and knees, naked, before the man comes back to the bedroom. He tries to arch his back, tries to make himself desirable, but he’s too nervous for that, his whole body stiff.

The man lets out a pleased sound. “You’re something else.”

That makes him feel pleased even though he tries not to let flattering affect him. He knows he’s pretty. That’s what keeps him fed.

Then he sees what the man is holding, and his heart starts to beat double-time. “Sir?”

“This,” the man holds the large cock-shaped dildo in his right hand, “is going inside you, pretty boy.”

“O-okay.” Tommy holds his breath when he feels the man moving closer.

“You have a tiny hole. Do you think you can take this?”

“Yes... Sir.”

“Feel the size.” The man moves behind Tommy between his spread legs, one hand squeezing Tommy’s neck, the other bringing the dildo close to his lips. “Open up.”

Tommy opens his mouth wide, lets the dildo past his lips, and sucks, licking the underside of it.

“Good boy. That’s a good look on you.”

Then Tommy feels the guy move to his side, slick fingers tracing his entrance, and he squirms, not trying to get away, but still, feeling rather vulnerable.

“Easy. I’m not going to hurt you,” the man says, _whispers_ , close to his ear, and it feels like a threat. Tommy tries not to stiffen, but it’s hard when one of the fingers pushes in all the way to the knuckle. “See, you can take it.”

The movement at both ends of his body never stops, and it’s hard to concentrate on either. Tommy gets two fingers, then three, and he’s starting to feel too full, his jaw hurting.

“Perfect. Gorgeous, gorgeous boy.”

Tommy groans around the dildo, then it’s pulled out of his mouth, and he swallows saliva, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

“Are you used to this?” the man asks, adding a fourth finger, and Tommy bites the pillow, trying to keep in the sound.

“No, Sir,” he manages to say, and the man twists his fingers, adding lube.

“I think I’m going to fist you. Would you like that?”

Tommy shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.

“I’m going to make you like it, make this tight hole loose for me. Is that okay?”

Tommy grabs the sheets in tight fists at the first stretch, and he groans into the pillow.

The man plays with him for a long, long while, making sure he’s loose enough for his whole hand, for his thumb, for five of his fingers, then the shape of his fist. “You’re so pretty.”

Tommy is shaking now, helpless against the intrusion, moving with each thrust of the man’s fist, and it’s too much. It makes him beg, makes him ask for something else, something less, something that isn’t going to make him wide open.

The man strokes Tommy’s side with his free hand, then grabs his hair and pulls his head back. “Say the magic words.”

“Please Sir, please... God please... I can’t... not anymore.”

“Good boy. Good. Good.” With each _good_ he gets a gentle stroke along his shoulderblades. “Beautiful.”

Then the fist is gone, and he’s a shaking mess on the bed.

“You’re too loose for this one now,” the man says, leaving Tommy for a moment, and coming back with a larger butt plug. “You’ll be staying for a while so I want you to hold onto this.”

Tommy looks at it, intimidated.

“Up, on all fours.” The man slaps his ass playfully, and he does what he’s told, still feeling shaky. This one isn’t going to be any less intrusive.

“Push against it. It’ll go in easier.”

It’s slick with lube, but it still burns going in. He has to pull at his hair, has to bite the pillow again, and still he can’t stay quiet. “God, fuck.”

“It’s okay. You can take it. You’re stretching nice and slow around it. It’s beautiful.”

Tommy is taking short panting breaths, his vision blurring, and when it’s finally in, he tries to stay as still as possible.

“I want you to look at yourself.” The man helps him up enough so he can turn from the waist and look back. There’s a mirror in the man’s hand, and Tommy can see clearly how he looks, how stretched he is. The plug is black and big and freaking intimidating, and he can’t believe it’s inside him. “It’s gorgeous,” the man says reverently.

Then when they’ve looked at it enough, the man lies down on the bed, pulls Tommy against his side, and switches the TV on. “I want you to watch the game with me.”

It’s a long two hours. The man plays with the plug every once in a while, driving Tommy entirely crazy with it, his cock so hard it’s red from the tip. He can’t forget the plug for even a second because it’s so big and filling, and the way the guy jostles it around every time there’s a goal makes Tommy see stars.

He feels used and abused after it’s all done, after his time is up, and he’s in desperate need of an orgasm.

Once the man has pulled the plug out of him, Tommy goes to the bathroom to clean up and put different clothes on. He slicks back his hair, removes the makeup, and when he walks out of the bathroom he’s the 28-year-old man who got hired.

He’s very good at his job because he loves to play his part - any part - to the point of being that person.

“Thank you,” Justin says, almost shy, and Tommy smiles. “Was it too uncomfortable?”

“If it were I wouldn’t come back.”

There’s a thick envelope in Justin’s hand, and Tommy takes it from him, knowing that there’ll be some extra, like always.

“I bought you something.” Justin walks up to a chest of drawers, takes a small box from the top drawer, and turns towards Tommy, now definitely bashful. “It’s just... I hope you like it.”

It’s a watch, and Tommy loves it. He says as much, eager to leave already because he has to jerk off right this second. His cock is hard against the seam of his pants. This is the only downside of his time with Justin.

“I know you’re busy, but thank you... again.”

Justin takes him to the door, and Tommy leaves, walking to the main elevators this time because in these clothes, he can go pretty much anywhere in this hotel.

*

On the 28th floor, a black-haired man steps into the elevator, and Tommy gets a nice vibe. There’s no one else there with them, and the guy is good-looking, stylish, and, if there was anything in the way he looked at Tommy, gay.

Tommy leans against the wall, lifts his foot up and rests it against the opposite wall, blocking the guy’s exit. “If you have a condom you can fuck me.” He knows it’s direct, way too direct for most people, but he’s in need, and this guy seems like the perfect candidate.

“Um... What?”

“The bathrooms here are clean, and you can lock the first door. Nobody gets in, and they have plenty more. Unless you have a room.”

“What?”

Tommy stifles a sigh. “Look, I’m way too horny for this. In or out?”

The guy hesitates only for a second, then grabs Tommy’s thigh and pulls him close. There’s a lot of strength in that pull, and Tommy is sure the guy can hold him up while fucking him. He grins before they kiss, and then the guy licks the grin off his lips. It’s a turn on, and he can’t wait for the actual fucking part. He’s so goddamn ready for it.

They don’t go up to the guy’s room. Instead, they find an empty bathroom and lock it up, and then Tommy gets pushed into one of the stalls - or manhandled because this, this is manhandling. He loves it and shows that by laughing and pulling the guy close. “What’s your name?” he asks when the guy pulls down their pants, his own to his thighs and Tommy’s all the way off, and lifts Tommy’s legs around his waist, pulling him close.

“Adam.”

“Hello Adam. Nice to meet you. I’m--” Right then, Adam pushes two fingers inside him easily, and Tommy chokes on the words. This is better than he expected. The guy, Adam, clearly knows what he’s doing.

“You’re so ready,” Adam says, kissing his cheek.

“I’m Tommy.”

“You’re so ready, Tommy. You want me inside you.”

Not without the condom, but Adam is already there, pushing Tommy against the wall so he won’t fall while Adam rolls the condom on, and then, mercifully, he’s pushing in, fucking into Tommy hard and relentless, just the way he wants it right now.

Tommy grips Adam’s waist with his thighs, his muscles strained and hurting, but he doesn’t care because this is heaven, and he doesn’t want it to end.

“God, this is perfect,” Adam says, his open mouth against Tommy’s neck, his breath hot.

Tommy moves his hips in time with Adam’s thrusts, and all that friction between their stomachs is doing wonders to his aching hard on. He needs to come. He could probably come twice, just because of the orgasm denial Justin always likes.

“Want me to get you off?”

“Yes... please.” He wants to add Sir there because he was so deep in that play before, but he holds it back. It still sounds very much like begging, and Adam seems to like that.

Tommy pushes his hands through Adam’s thick hair when Adam’s fist circles his cock, and Tommy twists his fingers, pulling, because Adam tugging his cock is too much stimulation for his abused body, and he goes over the edge quickly, his mind shattering for a moment.

This here is sex at its best.

Adam pushes deep into Tommy’s body, holding himself there for a moment, so close it’s almost uncomfortable, and then he starts coming, his cock pulsing inside Tommy.

Tommy can’t believe Adam is still standing because he has nothing solid in his body, all his bones gone. He’s liquid, so satisfied he doesn’t want to move for a century.

Adam’s legs are shaking, and he sits down on the toilet bowl before they collapse, taking Tommy with him, still staying inside him. “Oh my god... Who are you?”

“A very happy man.” He sighs, kissing and biting Adam’s neck.

“That was...” Adam pauses, nuzzling the side of Tommy’s head. “I’m late for a meeting... because of you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tommy grins against Adam’s skin, then slowly pulls back, tests his feet and when they keep him up, he takes hold of the condom and lifts himself him off Adam’s cock. He’s aching, and his thigh muscles are toast, but he’s so fucking sated he can’t stop smiling. “I need to get going too. This was great.”

Tommy wipes his stomach and ass clean with toilet paper, pulls his pants up, tucks his shirt into his pants, and straightens his perfectly cut jacket. His hair is probably a mess, but he’ll need a mirror for fixing that. “Thank you,” he says when he opens the stall door and goes to look in the mirror.

His hair obeys fingers and water, but nothing can cure the sinful look on his face. He needs to add sunglasses to his accessories because that there is a dead giveaway that he’s been doing naughty things. Usually he has more time to get rid of this look because he spends hours with the customers afterwards. With Justin, there’s never _afterwards_ because Justin wants to keep him on the edge the entire time.

Adam is still sitting on the toilet bowl, but he’s pulled up his pants and now he’s cleaning his clothes and stomach. For some lucky reason, Tommy’s shirt is clean.

“Well...” Tommy starts, but doesn’t know how to finish that thought.

“A strange encounter, huh?” Adam comes to stand beside Tommy, looking at them in the mirror.

“Yeah, loved it.”

“This is it?”

Tommy nods. “Yeah...” The atmosphere is slightly melancholy, and Tommy wonders if he should give Adam his number. The sex was great. It could be a nice hook up.

Adam’s phone rings before Tommy can reach a decision, and then Adam is apologizing, patting Tommy’s shoulder, and running out of the door in a heartbeat, talking a mile a minute into his phone.

Well, that’s that then.

*

Tommy goes through his work email, eating fresh raspberries and toast with melted cheese. He’s curled up in his armchair, balancing his iPad against his knee.

He has fifty regulars, and new applications come in daily so his schedule and email are packed, especially since he only does four short meetings or one long one in a week.

He’s reading a new one now, trying to decide if he’ll answer. The guy has given all the information Tommy requires on his webpage (name, address, occupation, education etc.), and the personal message is witty and respectful.

It’s not four o’clock yet. He can check the guy’s work place.

Tommy finds the number online, then waits for the answer. When he gets the name of the company and _how may I help you_ , he asks if Bradford Milton is available, that he’s doing a customer survey on BMWs and would like to talk to him about how satisfied he is with his new car. Unfortunately Bradford Milton is in a meeting, and Tommy is left with a polite understanding that he’s not supposed to call again because Mr. Milton is too busy.

It’s an honest request for an escort then.

He spends twenty minutes googling the guy, checking his home address via Google Maps and finding links to old yearbook comments. Everything seems legit.

Then he logs on to the invitation-only escort forum and checks the red flag thread. The name doesn’t pop up.

Tommy stares at the cursor on the white page for a while, then starts to type. He does a lot for money, but he always plays it safe. He doesn’t do blowjobs without a condom which often leads to guys not wanting it, but there’s a lot he’s willing to do that the other escorts won’t do. He enjoys the kinky stuff. He’s doing this for a reason.

The first time is always with dinner and drinks, and he expects full compensation in advance, but this guy wants to fly him to New York for Fashion Week, wants him to accompany him the whole time, and keep the stress levels to a minimum with services during the night.

He can do that.

Once he’s finished writing the email he reads it through, fixes a few things, and sends it away. Then he makes regular appointments, answers all the thank you emails he’s gotten, and finally, he sets the iPad on the table next to his chair.

He’s tired, and it’s only a little past five pm. He wonders if Mike would like to watch a movie, drink a few beers, and chat a bit. He reaches for his phone, finds Mike’s number, and calls.

“What’s up?” Mike answers, sounding cheerful but distracted. He’s been writing again because this sounds like writing-cheerful.

“Come over.”

“Tempted.” Mike is quiet for a second, clearly doing something else, maybe pushing his computer off his lap. “What’s the plan?”

“I’ll find a movie, you’ll bring the beer, we chat.” He sounds hopeful. Tommy hates how he never sounds like he believes people want to spend time with him, no matter how well he knows the person.

“If I bring you material will you play for me?”

Tommy groans, but secretly, he’s pleased. “Always demanding stuff.”

“I’m an abuser, dear friend.”

That makes him grin. “You’re a user.”

“I’ll abuse and use your ass as much as I want. You owe me for all the years you lived under my roof for free.”

Tommy nods, serious, knowing that Mike can’t see it. “Yeah, yeah, come over and bring it with you. I’ll play.”

“You’re the awesomest ever.”

They spend the evening drinking beer, Tommy playing guitar for Mike’s song (recording happens later because Mike can make him do weird things), and them chatting about Mike’s current girlfriend/boyfriend problem-threesome-thingie that’s working and then not, and during the night Tommy makes Mike watch the Cabin in the Woods. The poor guy clutches Tommy’s hand a few times even though it’s not a proper horror movie, more like a meta story of horror movies. Still, it’s one of the best new ones Tommy has seen in years. It even startles him a few times.

Sometimes he wishes he could share his other life with people he knows. Everyone thinks he’s making background music for commercials and animations and other media. He does that too, but it isn’t the job that pays his bills.

He’s not renting his apartment. He bought it. He has savings accounts for his mother, sister, and niece. He invests his money. He pays taxes, almost to the exact right percentage. The IRS is not interested in where he gets his money as long as he willingly gives a part of it away.

He’s a respectable citizen, but still, he can’t talk about his work with most people. His sister is the only one in his family who knows. Mia and Mike know he’s an escort, but even Mike has no idea how much he does for money. And that’s it. All three of them.

It’s suffocating sometimes, but it’s a part of the job. He’s discreet in every possible way.

Tommy meets a few regulars before Fashion Week, one who likes to tie him up, put nipple clamps and a cock ring on him and use the flogger on his back and thighs and ass, and one who likes to take him to rock concerts and fuck him sore after the gigs. Both of these guys are among his favorites, and when they spend time together it’s always entertaining and fun.

He takes a long bath after each session, goes to a masseuse to work the kinks out of his body, and feels as good as new when he meets his newest client, Bradford Milton. He flies to New York in first class, dressed in his best suit that’s quirky enough to be all about fashion, and after a good twenty minutes of waiting in lines, he finds the sign that has his name on it and follows the chauffeur to the limousine.

It’s the spring/summer collection week in September, and the weather is warm but not suffocatingly so. Tommy hasn’t been to New York for a while so he’s looking out the window, enjoying the view.

He’s not nervous, but he’s intrigued. He hopes Bradford is who he said he was. He doesn’t want to leave right away.

So far everything has gone exactly as promised.

When they reach the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel Tommy steps out of the limousine, waiting for the chauffeur to hand him his luggage. There’s a man waiting for him in the lobby, and it’s clear the chauffeur has called him before they arrived. His check-in is done swiftly, his luggage taken to the room, and then he’s guided to meet Bradford in one of the restaurants of the hotel, the Bull and Bear Steakhouse.

The man is in his fifties, well-dressed, tired around the eyes, but smiling. Tommy checks for a ring, but there isn’t one.

“Good evening,” Bradford says, extending his hand. “I trust your flight was okay.”

“Yes, thank you. Everything went perfectly.”

Bradford pulls the chair out for him, and he sits down, pleased about the gesture.

They order appetizers and main course, and when the menu doesn’t offer any desserts Bradford (Brad he asks to be called) confesses that he can’t stand anything sweet. Tommy smiles and makes the same confession, and they laugh at that, toasting to the non-sweet life.

They talk about fashion, theater, musicals, then movies, and horror seems to be Brad’s favorite too. He’s an old school horror fan, and they both appreciate Christopher Lee’s efforts until he turned to the dark side and participated in the new abomination of Star Wars.

Tommy likes Brad, and the age difference doesn’t bother him at all. The man is charming.

When the dinner is over Brad guides him out of the restaurant with a hand at the small of his back, and Tommy wonders how out the man actually is. He’s a fashion designer so it’s not a field where it’s much of a problem, but still, it’s intriguing how casual Brad is about affection. Even at the table he touched Tommy’s hand or brushed a finger against his cheek, all under the eyes of the staff and the other customers.

Usually people are more careful with him.

The sex itself is gentle, somehow quiet, like Brad is afraid he’ll break Tommy. It’s a little too intimate for Tommy’s taste, but he makes himself stay there, makes himself be the warm body that offers comfort and silence and whatever the client needs. It’s a bit disturbing how careful Brad is, and how much he makes sure that Tommy gets what he needs too, and when they lie on the bed afterwards he feels a little disoriented, a little too loved. It’s usually his job to make the other person feel like that.

The week is painful because Bradford is perfect. Tommy goes sightseeing during the day, eats in great restaurants, pays everything with Bradford’s credit card, and if there’s anything Bradford needs Tommy is there for him. It’s mutual and it’s fun and it’s hard to keep his mind in the working mode. He doesn’t get emotionally invested in this way, but for some reason, here he does, and when they lie on the bed on the final night, his heart aches.

“I’ve loved having you here,” Brad says. “You’ve made it so easy. Last time, I had a minor stroke. I had to take two weeks off.”

Tommy strokes Brad’s chest, biting his lips together. This is ridiculous. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I’ll take you to the airport tomorrow myself. I want to send you off. Is that bad?”

He shakes his head, not able to speak.

In the morning, they eat breakfast in bed, Brad feeding him strawberries and kissing him in between bites, nipping at his lower lip.

Tommy should know better. He’s been doing this for four years. He knows how to do his job. Yet still... that smile and those hands and that broad wonderful mind are breaking him apart.

At the airport, Brad holds onto him for a long while, doesn’t let go until Tommy has to go through security to catch his flight. It’s stupid. It’s not love. It’s been a week. A week.

Brad pulls back, pushes Tommy towards the security, then kisses him one more time and turns him around. “Go. Don’t look back.”

Tommy feels like he’s in a vacuum, no sounds, no touches, nothing at all in his world when he finds his seat in the plane, when he travels over states, when he goes through customs at the other end. At home, he stares at his traveling bag and thinks of nothing. He feels lonelier than in years.

He takes a small break from work because he can’t handle anyone right now. And after that, he sees only regulars for a while because they are safe.

*

The next time he takes on a new client, it’s a recommendation from a friend, not an official application via his webpage. It’s a celebrity who doesn’t want to go through the normal screening. The only reason Tommy is even considering it is because the one giving the recommendation is Mia. She knows the guy, has met him, has heard a great deal of good about him, and apparently he’s good in bed too.

Mia is not in the business, but she knows some of Tommy’s clients, and she’s sometimes led good people to him. They’ve never talked about the arrangement, but it’s a silent agreement between them. People sometimes ask Mia if she knows anyone, and if she likes the one asking she’ll let them know that she’ll ask her contact if he’s interested.

His client goes by the name Adam, and Tommy wonders if he should google all celebrity Adams. Mia’s recommendations are the only ones he meets without knowing who they are. Sometimes he never finds out because he doesn’t recognize every actor/singer/star in America.

Tommy takes this one because the guy sounds like a fun person. Mia describes him as goofy, nerdy, sexy, spiritual, and freaking talented, and that makes Tommy grin.

Mia sends him Adam’s email address, and Tommy sends him a message about details: what Tommy needs to bring, who he needs to be, what is expected of him. He also explains his limits and rates, and sends Adam a link to his webpage where Tommy has a very flattering profile.

The message he gets back is long, funny, and has a nice rhythm. Tommy judges the rhythm of words easily and rejects messages that give him a weird vibe. Adam sounds like he enjoys life and other people, like he’s a good person. That makes Tommy interested.

Adam asks him to come as himself, and he’d love if Tommy brought his guitar with him. Other than that he doesn’t have expectations except fun company and good relaxing sex. Adam also asks if it’s okay to eat in his hotel room because paparazzi might catch him out somewhere, and he doesn’t want to explain himself to anyone. He would also like Tommy to stay for the night.

All this sounds good to him and he sends a message back, confirming their date.

Tommy doesn’t take other clients before the weekend. He’s cut his normal four a week to two, and now he’s taking weeks off too. He doesn’t need to work that much because his expenses aren’t terrible and because the thing with Bradford really shook him. He’s rethinking his life right now, doing only things that feel absolutely comfortable.

For some reason, Adam feels comfortable. Even his words are funny and quirky.

They meet in Hotel Shangri-La in Santa Monica. Tommy checks into the hotel, gets his own room key, and finds their room.

When Adam opens the door they stare at each other for a long while, their mouths open. Then Adam grabs the front of Tommy’s shirt and pulls him in. “Tommy?”

“Uhhuh...”

“Oh my god, this explains so much.”

“Hey!”

“You’re my first and only elevator hook up. I nearly had a heart attack. You’re evil with your sexy black - seriously black - eyes. Nobody does that. There are no secret codes for gay guys. We don’t just wink at each other and fuck in the bathroom.”

“We don’t?” Tommy asks incredulously.

“No, we don’t.” Adam throws his hands in the air. “We don’t. Especially if we’re singers. God, what was I thinking.”

“What are you thinking now?”

“Exactly!” Adam takes a few steps back into the light-colored room. “What am I thinking?”

“You know how I work. Nobody finds out about this from me. Ever.”

“Do you even know who I am?” Adam asks, looking terrified.

“Adam something?” He doesn’t really care.

“Good god. You don’t watch TV?”

“I watch movies and shows, never been big on commercials (especially since the music he composes makes him feel self-conscious) or reality TV.”

Adam’s breaths are coming out fast, and Tommy thinks he might faint. It’s a little hilarious.

Tommy sets down his bag and guitar case, takes a step closer to Adam, and when he doesn’t run away Tommy guides him to the bed. He sits Adam down and tells him to breathe. Adam listens to him, following Tommy’s instructions and gestures, and finally the panic subsides.

“Thanks,” Adam croaks, not looking at him.

“Any time.” Tommy sits next to Adam, stroking his arm. “Do you want to do this? I see you’ve already ordered food. We can just eat, and I can go. No harm done.”

“I’ve never bought a person’s time before.” Adam finally looks at him. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“You have a need, and I _want_ to give you what you need. You have to decide yourself how you feel about that.”

“You want this?” Adam asks.

This is something he sometimes has to explain, and even though it’s tedious some people need to hear it. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to. I make all the rules. I offer a service. I like sex. It’s very simple.”

“If you could choose to do anything would you still do this?”

Tommy tilts his head to the side, still touching Adam’s arm. “I wouldn’t change anything. I can still do whatever I want. You’ve read my profile. You know what I do, what my interests are. I didn’t end up doing this because I didn’t have a choice. I had a choice. I made it. And I probably earn half of what you do.”

Adam looks taken aback. “Sorry... I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful. I’m... sorry.”

“It’s a common misconception. Because there are abused people in this business it means everyone is suffering.”

“Have you ever had a bad experience?” Adam asks, then looks bashful. “Sorry. Am I allowed to ask that?”

Tommy leans back against his hands, looking at Adam. “Once. He thought that buying me meant he could do anything to me. I made sure he’d never be able to buy any of our time again. I’m very careful, and that was a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Like I said, it was a long time ago. It taught me how to screen my clients better.”

“Can I ask what he did?”

“Do you really want to talk about this? Isn’t the food getting cold?”

Adam moves sideways so he’ll be able to look at Tommy directly. “I’d like to know so I won’t do anything wrong.”

“Fine. He bit me, didn’t make me ready enough, and he was a bastard about the whole thing, talking to me like I was nothing, not a person, just someone he owned.” Tommy sighs. “You know how some people are? They don’t care about anything but themselves. It wasn’t nice, but it isn’t something that keeps me awake at night. It made me realize what I never want to experience in my work again. I haven’t since. Nobody respects me more than my clients.”

Adam gets up, holds out his hand to Tommy, saying, “Then we won’t be having any problems.” Adam smiles when Tommy takes his hand. “Let’s eat.”

They do, and it becomes a little easier after that.

Adam is nosy, wanting to know everything about Tommy’s work, how he does the screening, how he keeps his personal and professional life separate, and what he does with his dollars. It’s weird to have someone so interested in him, but it’s not bad. He tells things that won’t jeopardize his clients or work in any way, but still give Adam enough insight into his life.

He asks about Adam’s work, and he finally gets a surname, too: Lambert. It rings a bell, but he still can’t remember who he is until Adam tells him he was on Idol. Then it clicks: his cousin from Maui sent him a link to a video once.

“Oh my god, you’re the Ring of Fire dude,” Tommy says, a piece of steak halfway into his mouth.

“You’ve heard that?”

“Yeah, sure. Great singing, great performing. No wonder you almost won.”

“Right now, I’m trying to make another record, and it’s super-stressful. The label is putting so much pressure on me. I have to succeed, have to sell, have to be this and that, and all I want to do is perform. Nothing makes me feel more alive than singing in front of an audience. It’s awesome.”

Tommy grins. He knows that feeling. The last band he and Mike had together did actual small scale touring too. It really was awesome.

“Will you play for me?” Adam asks next, and Tommy looks at him through his fringe, his hair getting caught in his eyelashes.

“Maybe. If we strip.”

“You want to play naked.” There’s a playful smile on Adam’s lips.

Tommy leans back in his chair, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I always play naked.”

“I like that image.”

They get up and start stripping, looking at each other shamelessly. It’s exciting and a little weird since they haven’t been in these roles before even though they’ve fucked. Tommy has never had a client before who hasn’t paid for the first time. He doesn’t do acquaintances. That’s why he’s a little off his game.

“So, tell me, how did you start doing this?” Adam asks when they sit on the bed again, Tommy lifting his guitar in his lap.

Adam is very delicious, and Tommy has no problem appreciating his looks.

“It started with my mom’s mortgage.” He pauses. “Don’t give me that look. I told you I started doing this because I wanted to. It was either a call-center or something my friend had been doing for a while. He said that he was paid good money for his time. Some don’t even want sex. They just want company, someone who’ll listen, who’ll go places with them. So I started researching. The first time I did it, I was already aware of how to do it well. I started with an agency because I wanted someone to look after me, check on me, take care of the clientele, that sort of stuff. They did a good job, but they take half of the paycheck, and at some point, I decided I had done it long enough to survive on my own. And I did.”

“So what do you like about your job?”

“People, how we connect, how much fun you can have with someone in bed, how I can help people to relax. Some of my clients have been with me for years. I’m like a good friend to them, but with no baggage. I’m always on their side. I’m always supportive. I’m the person they tell all their secrets because they know I’ll stay quiet. I’ll never judge. Some people have no other way to express themselves sexually. Some are unhappily but forcefully married. Some are deformed. Some are broken in other ways. Some are too busy to create normal relationships. So I’m safe to them. I make them happy for a while.”

Adam nods. “So you’re a little like a therapist.”

Tommy laughs. “Something like that. I’m whatever you want from me. I’m a sixteen-year-old virgin, or your living sex toy, or that high-end prostitute who’ll give you the thrill of doing something you’re not supposed to do and if you get caught you might lose everything.”

“Wow.” Adam stares at him.

“Yeah...”

“Please play something,” Adam says after a pause. “Please?”

He does, letting Adam choose the songs. Adam sings from time to time, but mostly he just listens, transfixed.

“You’re incredibly good,” Adam says when Tommy rests his fingers over the strings, quieting the sounds. "Any favorite genres?"

“Thanks. I mostly love blues and metal, but anything goes.”

Adam touches Tommy’s arm, strokes it a few times, then pulls back. “You have a melancholy sound. I really love that. Makes me want to write sad lyrics.”

Tommy sets the guitar aside far enough from the bed that if they manage to be too active they won’t break it. Then he turns to look at Adam. “So... Tell me, what do you want?”

Adam is quiet for a while, then asks, “Can I have anything?”

“Anything that fits in my limits.”

“What are your regular services?”

Tommy smiles. “Massage? Tongue bath? Hours of stimulation? What do you want to do to me?”

“I want to fuck you for hours, make you come so many times it hurts. I want you so satisfied you won’t be able to walk out of here tomorrow.”

“You can try. You can also choke me, hold me down, make me take you, or you can be as gentle as you please. Just listen to my body, and if something doesn’t feel good my safeword is moon.”

Adam nods. “I’d love that massage now. You have no idea how dead my body is.”

Tommy moves, gently pushing Adam face down on the bed, arranging his arms to make his neck relax and spreading his legs a bit so his position is as comfortable as possible. Then he goes to get his massage oil from his bag.

He warms the oil between his hands, spreads a bit of it on Adam’s back, then pours more on his hands. Once he’s satisfied with the amount of oil he starts massaging Adam’s tight back muscles.

Soon, Adam is making satisfied little noises.

Tommy never tries to loosen the muscles with pressure; he just spends time caressing them until the client is butter in his hands, and he can start making the movements a little more sexual. “Do you mind if I touch you here?” Tommy asks, placing his hand on top of Adam’s ass, and when Adam shakes his head he lets his fingers push between Adam’s cheeks.

Adam spreads his legs and stays relaxed so Tommy pushes his hand further between Adam’s thighs, massaging his balls gently, giving them much needed attention, it seems. Adam is moving his hips now, and he’s clearly enjoying this. It makes Tommy more determined to give him the massage of a lifetime.

He kneels between Adam’s thighs, pushes one of Adam’s knees up towards his side, spreading him wide, and then he uses both hands to stroke Adam’s ass, his hole, his balls and thighs. Adam is making constant sounds now, his hips moving, and he’s hard.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to fuck you?” Tommy says quietly, pushing his thumb against Adam’s hole, spreading the skin.

“It’s... okay,” Adam manages to say. “Just... continue please.”

Tommy stretches one arm over Adam’s back, massaging his spine, while his other hand rubs against Adam’s hole, one finger pushing in.

Adam’s breath catches but he says nothing. Adam pulls his arms under his pillow, his back muscles tensing beneath Tommy’s fingers.

“Shhh...” Tommy says without realizing. He plays with Adam’s hole, using only one finger, keeping the rhythm slow and gentle.

Tommy bites Adam’s ass, then licks the skin, moving forward, licking and kissing him everywhere he can reach without letting go of Adam’s hole.

“Oh my god,” Adam groans into the pillow. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.... I’m going to come from this.”

“It’s okay,” Tommy says against the small of Adam’s back, and then he feels Adam clenching around his finger, his whole body stiffening. Tommy pulls his finger out slowly, stroking Adam’s sides, taking him down gently.

“I can’t believe...” Adam mumbles, and Tommy smiles. Disbelief is a common reaction to his touch.

“You did good. You were so relaxed,” Tommy says against Adam’s spine, kissing his skin.

“Is it stupid if I want to just cuddle a bit?” Adam lifts his head up, looking at Tommy over his shoulder, his face open and vulnerable.

Tommy crawls on the other side of the bed, pulling Adam with him away from the pool of cooling come. They wrap their arms and legs around each other, lying on their sides.

Tommy listens to Adam breathe.

“You know... I had a terrible first experience,” Adam says after a while. “He wasn’t careful at all even though I told him I hadn’t done it before. I was away from home, in Europe, and I didn’t know what to do with myself afterwards. It hurt for a week. I haven’t bottomed after that, and I made sure my partners were always ready for it.”

Tommy tightens his hold a little, but he doesn’t say anything because Adam hasn’t finished talking. 

“I don’t know why that affected me, what you did there... Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Our bodies hold memories. It’s normal to react to them.” He doesn’t know how to make it clear that it’s alright, that he’s seen it a million times. He doesn’t think Adam wants to hear that now.

Adam lets out a nervous laugh. “Way to ruin the mood.”

“You’re not ruining anything. We can do this all night if you want.”

Adam nips at Tommy’s shoulder. “I meant what I said. I don’t want you to be able to walk out of here - in a very good way. I want to carry you through the lobby... Oh scratch that, there’d be pictures, but you get the point.”

“You almost did that the last time. It’s one of the best fucks I’ve had.” The confession is too close to truth, and Tommy closes his eyes, hiding for a second.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Perfect timing too.”

“You were incredibly horny. I’ve never been ambushed like that.”

That was so cool. “I’m so happy you didn’t run away. My own hand wouldn’t have been enough.”

Adam laughs genuinely, all the earlier confusion gone. His octopus arms and legs wrap themselves tighter around Tommy, and all of a sudden he’s suffocating.

“Lemme go!” Tommy tries to wiggle himself free.

“I’m keeping you here all night,” Adam threatens, kissing the top of his head.

“Evil,” Tommy mutters into Adam’s chest, relaxing and letting Adam squeeze him.

“You’re super-cute, you know that?”

Tommy groans. “Am not.”

“Yes, you are. You really are.” Adam pulls at Tommy’s hair to get him in the right angle for a kiss. Adam bites Tommy’s lower lip, licking it, then licking into Tommy’s mouth, lazy and careful like he knows they have time.

When Adam lays him down on the bed, spreads Tommy’s arms up towards the head of the bed, and kisses a trail down Tommy’s stomach, Tommy lets him, relaxing in Adam’s arms. Tommy stretches his body, arching his back, showing Adam what he can have.

Adam licks him all over, and that’s not something his clients usually do. He’s the one who does that. He gives them the pleasure, but Adam seems to enjoy it, and he did say that he wants Tommy to be so satisfied he can’t even move. It’s doable, but requires a lot of work.

“I love your tattoos.” Adam bites Tommy’s side, the artistic Jimi Hendrix there, then licks and kisses his skin until Tommy’s muscles tense under him. It’s a little humiliating how his toes curl, how he squirms, how much he enjoys this. It always is when it’s a little too good. “Do you have a specific clientele because of them?”

So Adam is a talker. “Not really,” he says, then gasps because Adam tugs Tommy’s cock a few times and lets go. It’s evil.

“I loved your pictures on the site.” Adam moves up Tommy’s body, his cock brushing Tommy’s thigh. That’s pure teasing, but Tommy says nothing. “You don’t show your face. Is it like that with everyone?”

Mia’s photographer friend took all the pictures on Tommy’s site, made him pose with his guitars, naked but showing nothing, giving him edge, and color, something that makes him a little different.

He tries to answer, but Adam sucks his nipple into his mouth, keeps the bud between his teeth, looking at Tommy.

“You’re a tease,” Tommy manages to say before Adam slides his tongue against the bud, and Tommy has to throw his head back.

“Talk to me, baby,” Adam says, then goes back to biting and sucking and driving Tommy into a state of madness. He kicks with his legs, moves under Adam, but there’s not much room, nowhere to go.

He tries to remember the question. Something about pictures. “Yeah... most... They... Ah...”

“You have perfect nipples. I could do this all night.” Adam moves to the other one, his fingers capturing the one he was torturing before, and he twists, hurts Tommy on purpose, and it shoots pleasure down his spine. He’s arching his back again, panting, his legs spreading wide. “Oh you love this,” Adam says like it’s a huge revelation.

He does. So far he’s been good at keeping his arms up, his hands above his head, but he wants to touch.

“I want to play with your body. Can I do that? I have a long silicone plug, and I want to fuck you with it, then fuck you when it’s still inside you.”

“Yeah, yes... please.”

“But first, I want you to come, jerk yourself off. I want to watch you.”

Tommy pushes himself up on his elbows, looking at Adam who’s still planting small kisses on his chest.

“I want you coming dry the last time you come tonight. This is the first, show me.”

Tommy pushes at Adam shoulder so he’ll move out of the way, and Adam goes down, lies between his thighs, staring at him.

At first Adam doesn’t do anything when Tommy starts jerking off. He just watches, but then the playful touches begin. His fingers brush Tommy’s balls, then his thumb slides over Tommy’s hole and thighs, and soon he even has lube in his hands. Adam has come prepared.

Adam starts to open him up, circling his hole with one finger, watching Tommy intently the whole time. Tommy lets go of his cock and holds out his hand, and Adam pours lube on his palm. Tommy spreads it between his hands, makes it warm, and then everything is perfect after that.

He pulls at his cock and fondles his balls while Adam plays with him, and he gets all the stimulation he could ever need, and he comes with achingly tight muscles and a long groan he can’t hold in.

Adam doesn’t stop when Tommy comes, he adds another finger, pulling one of Tommy’s legs to the crook of his arm when he sits up.

The new position gives him a better angle, and he starts rubbing Tommy’s prostate with each push of his fingers.

“Oh my god, give a guy a break,” Tommy whines, grabbing the sheets with his messy hands.

“I want you loose and languid in my arms, totally unable to respond. I want to hold you when you can do nothing but take me, when you have no strength left, when you’re fucked stupid.”

Tommy looks at Adam in the eyes, then relaxes against the sheets. “Okay.”

“What’s your recovery time?” Adam asks, tongue-in-cheek.

Tommy grins, his body already responding to Adam’s fingers inside him.

“Good.”

Adam takes his time opening him up with his fingers, and even when he reaches for the anal plug he doesn’t pull his fingers out. He just puts the plug on Tommy’s stomach, pours lube all over it and Tommy’s skin, and then starts pushing it in with his fingers still inside.

“You like to stretch me?” Tommy asks between breaths. He lifts his hips up to give Adam better access - or because he needs to do something about the feeling of being too full. He’s so used to these things and then never is.

“Love it.” Adam pulls his fingers out, but leaves the plug in, fucking Tommy with it, soft and slow now, making Tommy whine.

When it’s bordering on painful because he’s over-sensitive Adam stops for a moment, leaving the plug inside him. Tommy tries to look at him, but he’s too disoriented, too out of it, and he reaches for Adam instead. Adam takes his hand, kisses the knuckles, and then lets go, pushing Tommy’s legs further apart with his knees.

“Try to be quiet,” Adam whispers when he starts pushing in, the plug making it feel like double penetration. He’s done it a few times, but this is different, even more intense because there’s only one person, only one body, more intimate.

Tommy bites his lip, tilting his head back, his eyes squeezed shut.

“And tell me if it’s too much.”

Tommy shakes his head. Never too much. Never.

Adam is all the way in, adjusting his body, making sure that the plug is in a good angle and that the condom stays on, and then he starts fucking Tommy, not even trying to make it anything but frantic movement.

And there’s no way Tommy can stay quiet. He’s nothing but sound, and the bed hits the wall with each of Adam’s thrusts. Tommy briefly wonders if there’s anyone next door, then thinks about sending flowers to them, thinks about how he can’t last long, thinks about Adam and his promises, and the way he’s already losing his ability to be coherent.

He wraps his arms and legs around Adam and holds on for the ride, biting Adam’s shoulder so he won’t scream. That would be embarrassing.

It’s starburst when the orgasm happens, pleasure in waves, and when it’s over he can’t let go. He’s too exhausted to move, to release his tight grip, and he just lies there, breathing hard, his heartbeats deafening in his ears.

“God, let me look at you.” Adam pulls out of him slowly, then pulls the plug out of him too, and Tommy twitches, his body aching. There’s a finger inside him, then another one, but he can’t respond to that.

He realizes after a while that Adam didn’t come, that he’s changing the condom and sitting against the head of the bed, pulling Tommy in his lap. “I want you to ride me, baby.”

Tommy rests his head against Adam’s shoulder, his arms loosely around Adam’s neck, feeling Adam lifting him, holding him over his hard cock and then sitting him down. He cries out, loose-limbed just like Adam promised he’d make Tommy, and he wants to laugh but can’t. Adam makes him move, his hands holding Tommy’s ass, and it’s deep and slow and it makes him ache. 

“You should see yourself,” Adam says, his cheek against Tommy’s. “There’s a mirror on the opposite wall.”

Tommy nuzzles Adam’s neck, his fingers curling in Adam’s hair, and he’s whining low in his throat, a tiny sound he would swallow if he could.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

He’s not going to come. He’s not even hard yet, but he wants to because Adam is keeping his promise, and he wants to be able to answer to that. “Please.”

Adam’s fingers on his ass move closer to where they are connected, and when he adds a finger, Tommy groans. He can’t take it. “Don’t,” he breathes out.

Adam laughs softly in his ear, but pulls the finger out, keeping the steady gentle pace.

Tommy is impossibly hard again, and he shouldn’t be. He can’t imagine coming again this soon, doesn’t want to, but Adam pulls the orgasm out of him with his hands and his tongue and his infuriating cock. Tommy chokes on the sound that tries to come out of him when he shoots thin strings of come on Adam’s stomach.

But Adam isn’t finished with him.

He keeps his eyes closed, lets Adam spread him on his stomach on the bed and then pound into his body, Adam’s grunts the only thing Tommy can still hear. When Adam comes he’s so deep inside Tommy there’s nothing separating them, and Tommy just pants under him, spent. Adam sags on top of Tommy, and they lie there for a long while, trying to catch their breaths.

“Are you alright?” Adam asks after a while, pushing Tommy’s hair off his face with a lethargic wipe of his hand. Adam kisses the side of his face.

Tommy laughs, but words aren’t happening yet.

“You’re amazing.”

He knows. So is Adam.

“I wish I could fuck you bare. I know you won’t, and I wouldn’t either, but I still wish I could. I want to see you filled up.”

Tommy has no idea how Adam can make so many words.

“Come on. I’m taking you to the bath.” Adam pulls out of him, holding onto the condom, and Tommy moans, feeling the ache now and probably feeling it two days from now, too.

The next time he’s aware of anything, Adam already has them in the bath, Tommy’s side against his chest, one arm around him and the other already sliding down Tommy’s spine. Adam pushes two fingers inside him and just holds them there, stroking Tommy’s shoulder with his other hand.

“You passed out,” Adam says softly.

He smiles stupidly. This is exactly the type of thing that needs to happen more often.

“That good?”

“Better.”

Adam laughs. “Good.”

When Adam starts to move the fingers inside him Tommy digs his fingers in Adam’s shoulders, tilting his head back, his eyes closing again. “I can’t,” he breathes out, and Adam kisses his nose but doesn’t stop.

They lie there until the water gets cold, until Tommy is painfully hard again, Adam’s thigh between his legs, and he’s rubbing himself off on Adam. Before he can get his release though, Adam pulls his fingers out and lifts Tommy out of the tub, manhandles him to the bedroom, on the rug there, and pushes his head down and ass up, and he’s licking Tommy’s hole before Tommy can say anything.

It’s hunger, pure need, Adam attacking him like he can’t stop himself, and Tommy is too out of it to do anything but let him. He gets rug burn on his knees and chin, and when he’s rubbing himself on Adam’s face, rolling his hips, Adam pulls back, then after a short moment, fucks into him again.

Tommy feels a condom, otherwise he would be fucking pissed off even in this state of mind, and it’s another thing for Adam to risk himself, but he’s doing as little as possible to risk Tommy.

And then he’s not thinking of anything because it’s pleasure and pain and deep ache and Adam holds onto his waist, his fingers so rough they are leaving marks, dark, dark circles on Tommy’s easily bruising skin, he’s sure.

“Fuck,” Tommy pants, bites his lip, and curls his fingers around the edge of the rug.

“Yeah.” Adam leans over Tommy’s back, grabs his hands, pulls him as close as possible, and then bites Tommy’s shoulder, fucking him hard.

Adam gets a hand around Tommy’s cock, and it’s almost too much because of how many times he’s come already. This time it hurts, and he’s quivering in Adam’s arms, curling against Adam’s stomach.

“Please come. Please,” Adam whispers in his ear. “This is the last time, I promise.”

Tommy tries but he’s so spent it takes a while, a long enough while that he’s barely conscious when it happens, when Adam goes rigid over him, groaning, pulling at Tommy’s cock almost too hard. There’s nothing left, but Tommy still feels the shock of an orgasm, his body still responding to the stimulation, or at least trying to.

He’s wailing when it’s over, his body spasming a little.

“I mean it,” Adam says, showering the side of his face with kisses. “Last time, unless you recover enough at some point.”

Tommy tries to nod, but nothing works.

“I can’t move yet.” Adam bites Tommy’s earlobe.

Tommy moves his hand to show how little there’s anything going on in his body. The hand just waves pathetically and then it’s down again. It fainted. He wants to laugh but can’t.

“I know that feeling,” Adam whispers in his ear.

Adam is heavy on top of him but also a comforting weight, and Tommy relaxes completely, forgetting everything else and letting Adam’s body own him for a while.

“We need to clean up again,” Adam mutters.

“Next... century.” Tommy tries to wave his hand again, but this time it won’t rise at all. He’s grinning wide.

They are sweaty and sticky, and they need to change all the sheets before even considering going back to bed. They made such a mess. But he’s impossibly lazy, and doesn’t want to do anything.

“You feel so good,” Adam says, rubbing his face against Tommy’s.

“You owe me burgers and beer.” Tommy lifts his head up, and Adam helps him, holding his face between his hands. They kiss gently, sloppily, and Tommy laughs against Adam’s lips.

Then finally, Adam lifts his weight off Tommy, grabbing Tommy’s waist and pulling him up with him. Tommy’s legs don’t carry him but Adam does, bridal-style, and they both laugh at that.

They lie in the tub for an hour, adding hot water every time it’s needed and drinking the one beer Adam snagged from the minibar.

They don’t talk much, but the silence is nice, and Tommy lays his head on Adam’s shoulder, feeling utterly content.

This is why he does his job.

Adam carries Tommy to the bed too even though he could walk already. It’s just something Adam seems to enjoy, how Tommy is so much smaller, so easy to lift up and carry away.

They pull the sheets off of the blanket, but everything under it is clean enough. Adam throws a few of the dirtiest pillows on the floor, but there’s still plenty of them left.

Then, lazy and tired, they curl up, stroking each other to sleep.

When they wake up in the morning they are still tangled in each other’s limbs, and Tommy grins like a happy cat. “I can’t walk out of here,” he says to Adam who’s staring at him with kind eyes.

It’s true. His muscles are achy, and his ass feels like he’s been having sex all night long nonstop. He’s had it worse, but this is a pretty damn perfect ache.

“I have a meeting in...” Adam reaches for his phone, “three hours. You can stay here, and I can take you home in the evening.”

Tommy kisses the corner of Adam’s lips. “Sounds good.”

“You can lie in the bath the whole day or book a massage or something.”

That sounds perfect. “Yeah... I could sleep some more too.”

“Go ahead.” Adam lies down on his back, pulls Tommy firmly against his side, and starts reading something on his phone.

Adam even pulls a pillow under Tommy’s head, and that makes Tommy swoon. Adam is golden.

He stays after Adam leaves and reads a book in bed, ordering room service when he gets hungry and then fills the tub when he feels like it. Adam did a number on him, and his body needs some time to recover, but it’s all good. He winces when he sinks into the hot water - and then every time he moves a little too abruptly. It’s all worth it, though.

Adam gives him a ride home later, and they kiss in the car for over twenty minutes like teenagers, completely shameless in their need.

*

Adam becomes his regular client which he secretly hoped for but didn’t dare to dream of. They had so much fun in and out of bed that it would’ve been a shame if Adam had disappeared from his life. Now, they meet at least monthly, whenever Adam has some free time between gigs, award shows, interviews, and travels.

It’s different hotels every time, and a few times they even go to the theater and gigs too. They stay under the radar because Adam knows how to be careful. Still, it’s exciting to go out together because the fear of getting caught makes everything more exhilarating.

One time, Adam even flies him to Tokyo, and they have lots of fun there, Adam only getting recognized during scheduled outings. Otherwise, they get to walk around incognito, nobody finding them interesting.

It takes half a year for Tommy to realize that he’s changed his working style. He’s seeing less and less clients, and he’s founded a music store slash coffee shop that sells homemade pies and chocolates with the finest coffee in town. He has the best guitars there, and he has guest artists, and the shop takes most of his time.

He couldn’t have continued being an escort for more than a few years anyway, and he has to start planning ahead. That is the excuse he uses every time he realizes that he’s working his way out of the business.

Tommy still has some of his regulars, the ones he’s most fond of, and he keeps his page updated, but he’s not accepting any new clients.

Adam is his main client, though. Adam is the only one who gets to take him anywhere, who has Tommy cancelling appointments so he’ll fit in Adam’s schedule.

He does know that it’s not an equal relationship, that he may be getting paid, but he’s the one who’s giving more, or that’s at least how it feels to him when he thinks about it at all.

Then one day he realizes, he hasn’t seen any other clients for two months. His shop is doing well, and he’s composing more music, and his income may have dropped quite a bit, but not in an alarming way. He still saves money every month.

The next time he’s in bed with Adam, he wonders if he can keep doing this. Adam is a lot of things, but he’s not looking for a boyfriend from an escort. He’s just like Bradford, someone who loves Tommy’s company but sees nothing permanent in their future, and Tommy really can’t blame either of them.

They are curled up in the bed, watching The Notebook of all things, and Tommy can’t believe he’s actually enjoying the stupid movie. Adam has an arm around his shoulders, and Tommy is plastered against Adam’s side.

It would be so easy to think that there’s something more here than just an arrangement.

“You know...” Tommy says softly. “I’m quitting this job. My day job pays well, and I think I’ve been doing this long enough.”

Adam goes still. “Okay...” There’s a question mark at the end, Tommy is sure.

“Yeah...” He doesn’t know how to say that this doesn’t have to be the end.

“Do you mean...” Adam pauses. “This is the last time?”

“I haven’t seen anyone else for over two months, and yeah, this is the last time you’ll pay for my time.”

Tommy feels Adam’s sadness, how he pulls away and builds a wall between them. They’ve been so open with each other.

“Do you have a pen?” Tommy asks, his heart beating fast.

Adam looks confused but reaches for the bedside table, opens the drawer, and then hands Tommy a pen.

Tommy grabs Adam’s hand. “This is my number,” he says, scared out of his mind. He writes the numbers on Adam’s palm, then lets go. “My real number.”

Adam just stares at him.

“Say something.” Rejection is better than hanging on the edge.

“What do you expect me to say?”

Tommy pulls back, sits up, and crosses his legs. He’s wearing nothing, and maybe he should cover himself, but he doesn’t want to, doesn’t care. This is who he is. “I don’t know... That you’d like to see me again, that it would be fun to hang out... Anything. Or just say that you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Adam reaches for him, but Tommy pulls further away. This is not something that can be solved with touching. He wants to hear Adam’s opinion, no matter how harsh it might be. He knew what Bradford would’ve said, but he’s not sure about Adam, still isn’t even though he can see the hesitation.

“I don’t know what you want?” Adam says carefully. “Just sex? Just a good time?”

He wants to be treated like any other person. He wants Adam to want to spend time with him. “I just want to know if you want to see me after this,” he waves his hand, meaning everything they’ve done together, “is over.”

“I don’t know,” Adam says, frustrated. “I haven’t thought about it. I haven’t had any time to think about it. You do a one-eighty to our relationship, and I can’t... I don’t know what to think.”

“Okay...” Tommy stands up and finds his phone. “Your time is up anyway. You can call that number or not call me at all. Your choice.” He puts his clothes on, his heart sinking, and he feels the panic rising. He left himself open for rejection. He hasn’t done that in a long long time.

“Hey,” Adam says from the bed, his expression open and inviting. “Please don’t be like that. We’ve had fun. This was nice.”

 _Had? Was?_ Adam is already leaving him behind. “Yeah, very nice. Thank you for everything.”

“I like you,” Adam says, a little desperate now.

“I know. Just not enough to ignore a few things. I understand. I’ll be going now.” His eyes are burning, and he hates himself for that. He needs to get out of here. He grabs his things, pushes them into his bag, and goes to the door. There, he hesitates, then turns around, drops his bag, and takes a few long steps back to the bed. He kisses Adam before Adam can say anything, then runs out of the door.

This is the end.

In the elevator, he sinks to the floor, pulls his legs close to his body, and rocks himself. He hopes nobody else comes in, hopes that he can go down alone, because he doesn’t have the strength to pretend. He let himself get involved. It’s his own fault. He should’ve known better.

He gets his wish, and nobody bothers him. He pulls himself together just before the elevator tells him that he’s on the ground floor, and he walks out, holding his head up high.

At home, he curls into a ball in his bed and cries because there’s nobody else there to hear him. 

*

He doesn’t get the call from Adam, and he’s not surprised about that. Who would want to date a hooker anyway? Not someone like Adam who has so much to lose if any of it came out. And it’s not just that. Tommy is great entertainment, a fantasy. He’s not someone people always dream of. He’s not boyfriend material.

So he drinks more than he’s drunk in years. He goes out, has meaningless sex with meaningless people, and drowns his sorrows in the bottle.

Mike lets him do it only because he’s seen Tommy pull himself out of the bottle before. He’s not going to stay there.

He takes a long vacation, leaves his shop to his workers, goes to Hawaii alone, and does nothing but lie on the beach and eat fresh pineapple, tuna in various forms, and salad. Tommy becomes a health maniac, and he thinks he’ll drive his friends crazy with it when he gets home.

There’s nothing he really wants to do. He doesn’t want to be anyone, either. He wants to disappear, but no matter how much he wants to run, his life is still in LA.

He finally goes back and lets his people bother him, lets them take him to places. He pretends to have fun, and after a while, things get a little better.

Then one evening his phone rings when he’s at a local bar with Mike. They are playing pool, and when Tommy digs his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, his heart nearly stops beating. It’s an unknown number. It could be anyone, someone selling something, _anyone_ , but he knows it’s Adam.

He shows Mike he’s going out for a second and answers the phone after the fifth ring. “It’s Tommy,” he says, breathless.

“Hi,” Adam sounds unsure. “Adam here. Am I calling at a bad time?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m at a bar with a friend, but I’m out now. I can hear you.” He can’t stop babbling. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering... Do you maybe want to meet?”

Adam should be more straight with him. “For what?”

“Coffee,” Adam says carefully.

Tommy does a little victory dance, his eyes closed, and he doesn’t care who might see him. “Yeah, okay. Where? When?”

“Right now? Maybe? I don’t know. When are you free?”

“When am I...? Pick me up from Burbank, Whiskey Bend on San Fernando Boulevard.”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there in... Fifty minutes. I think. Oh my god, see you soon. Bye” Adam hangs up before Tommy can say bye in return, but he doesn’t care because Adam is coming to see him... for a freaking coffee.

He goes back to the bar, back to Mike, and he can’t stop grinning. Mike gives him a look, then says, “What happened?”

“Adam called.” He’s so giddy he can’t even play pool anymore.

“The guy you’ve been pining over?”

Tommy scoffs. “I haven’t been pining.”

Mike gives him another look that is less nice than the first one.

“Okay, yes. The guy I’ve been pining over.”

“And he’s serious about you now?” Mike puts his hand on his waist, all sassy and ready to defend Tommy’s honor, and all of a sudden Tommy just wants to hug him so he does. Mike lets out a strangled sound because Tommy uses too much force.

“You’re the best.”

Mike grabs the back of Tommy’s shirt and holds him there. “It’s good to see you happy, man. Just... be careful.”

“I’m always careful,” Tommy says, choking a little because Mike is being too good to him.

“And it has nothing to do with the job?”

“I quit the job. He wants coffee.” He can’t hold still, and he can’t hold the emotions in. He feels like twirling Mike around the bar, and that’s not like him at all. And he shouldn’t be too excited because Adam hasn’t promised anything. They have nothing. _Yet_ , his mind screams at him.

Because Tommy can’t concentrate on anything, they order beers and sit in one of the booths, chatting away the minutes that are driving Tommy insane. He wants to go. He wants to see Adam, and when he gets the call he’s hugging Mike goodbye and running outside before he’s even answered the phone.

He sees Adam’s car, and he pockets his phone without answering, tapping the passenger side window. Adam opens the door, and Tommy gets into the car, still smiling. It’s awful. He should be able to hide it, but there’s nothing he can do.

“Hi,” Adam says and doesn’t drive away immediately. He’s just staring at Tommy. “Can I kiss you?”

Tommy nods, stunned, and then Adam is leaning in, kissing his lips lightly, gently, being as careful as possible.

“I’ve missed you,” Adam says, his voice pained. “I’m... God, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He feels a little dizzy because Adam’s palm is still touching his face, and they are close, breathing together.

“I don’t know... For not calling? For being a dickhead? For hurting you? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Adam is here now... for coffee.

“No, it’s not.” Adam leans his forehead against the steering wheel. “I... have no idea what I’m doing.”

“We’ll drink coffee,” Tommy says hopefully.

Adam looks at him sideways, then grins. “Yeah...”

“And it’s going to be awesome.”

“You think so?”

Tommy beams. “I know so.”

Adam reaches for him again, touches his jaw. “I believe you.”

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Tracklisting:  
> 1\. 7th Period: 7 Weeks- Gym Class Heroes  
> 2\. Beautiful- Apocalyptica  
> 3\. Give Me Love- The Used  
> 4\. Deeper and Deeper- Cinema Bizarre  
> 5\. The Reason- Hoobastank  
> 6\. Shape Of My Heart- Backstreet Boys  
> 7\. Scared To Death- H.I.M  
> 8\. HALO (We're The Only One)- Jack Strify  
> 9\. Don't Go Away- Oasis  
> 10.Ohne Dich- Rammstein  
> 11.This will make you love again- I am x  
> 12.Love Hurts- Incubus  
> 13.Here Without You- 3 Doors Down  
> 14.Lucky Star- Elliot Minor  
> 15.Take Me There- McFly 
> 
>  
> 
> [Link to the soundtrack](http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?wh1diytfp4vfd9w)


End file.
